The Virtual Artist | Portfolio/Junkyard

This is the portfolio I submitted to the London Art Colleges so I could get in for an interview.

I designed it as if it were a game where you, the reader, are given a character and are allowed to travel through his mind and past.

I made the portfolio out of selfies done in the dark alleys of me house, pictures I took of paintings I've made, thumbnails of personal projects and a bunch of icons downloaded from the internet.

Enjoy, gentlemen.

You're bored, so you download a random game of "ThePiratebay". Has a lot of leeches, so it might be interesting.

Once you install the game, your computer shuts down and then a greeting screen appears.

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/yohnigguh

Behind the curtains:

Layout stolen from a "Beelzebub" manga page.

"Loading" Segment = Long-exposure photo of Christmas lights (+added movement).

Edited in Paint.

Behind the scenes:

Floor: Close-up shot of painting with a light shinning on it from the left side.

Faces: My own, from recordings done in a black room.

Road (further): Long-exposure photo of Christmas lights (+ movement).

Everything edited in "Paint".

Behind the playground:

Floor: Close-up shot of painting.

Road: Long-exposure photo done in a bus. The red mumbo-jumbo was done by the dance of the clock from the bus, while the white segments are cars passing and shinning light through the windows.

Edited in Paint.

Ideas

2018

"geez, we’re all ugly. if everyone would just accept it, I wouldn’t talk to myself in a mirror for the illusion of company. you know, sometimes I bring another mirror in the room, and it feels like a hang out. my mom walked in while I was fucking one of the mirrors. BECAUSE I could see her in the fucking MIRROR. to be honest, I’m kind of curious what she thinks about it. you know, about the entire image. can you imagine this? walking in your son's room and catching him fucking himself in the mirror. you should see the thing man. build it all nice and shit. bought one of those fake vaginas and built it in. you look in the mirror and it looks like you’re a chick. stuck a picture of Molie where my head is. you know we hooked up at the birthday party. all it took was a smile and she melted in my shiny teeth. fucking poor people. they should give them all teeth. it’s already embarrassing. I mean, look at how my belly looks. I can’t see my damn feet, Harold. how can you tell me to walk my daughter to the altar proudly, when I have to turn my head sideways to kiss her. she has to walk around the belly to get to me. aROUnd the belly, it’s like I’m growing myself another body, but not another head. and the fucking thing is always farting on my dick. I don’t know how it even works, but somehow I have a farting belly. you think sleeping with a snorer is bad? then you've never tried sleeping with this thing on. thing farts and puffs all night, I have to wear earplugs not to hear it. Michele moved to another room last week. and you know, I actually tried losing weight. but it’s like my body is getting thinner, while my fucking belly stays the same. and it’s not like with one of those penguins. you see me and you think I have where to lose weight from. wrong. fucking wrong. last month I almost died from starvation. Hery, look at me. stop laughing and look at me. I almost died from starvation. Hery, you know how much I weight? who told you? did fucking Jenna tell you? that bitch. she got me drunk last night and we talked in the bathroom for hours. I can’t believe she told you how much I weight. "the ceiling turns sideways"- why is the ceiling turning sideways? who said that line? Sane. Sane! why you leaving Nr. 2 talk with the kid? we agreed on time schedules, didn’t we? didn’t we agree on things before starting this whatever you wanna call it? you grab me by my neck and eyes, twist my arm and hold my tights and as you choke me I dream of a blue field with lonely flowers where the wind is just about right and the humans don’t bother coming. no, it’s not erotic asphyxiation, baby. it’s a ride to the hospital with the ambulance and a lot of awkward questions that I need to answer, and on top of that, I also have to pay the fucking ride as well, because all you do is watch porn all day and “study”. I don’t even know why I said that. I’m sorry, baby. I know you can’t say anything because you sowed your mouth last week, thing which, by the way, I still cannot get used to. do you know how scary it is to sleep with you? or fuck you? last time we did it in missionary position I felt that if I wouldn’t make you cum you’d cut my throat or something. how can you stand eating through a straw every day, anyway? so many questions I’ve been wanting to ask ever since I agreed with this. and I agreed with It only because I love you, but I’m not so sure about it now. NO, NO! ok. …, …. agh, wha-WHAT THE FUCK?"